Long-Distance Caregiving: Supporting Aging Parents from Across the Country

Looking after an elderly parent presents enough challenges when you’re in close proximity to them. Living on another side of the country from them makes things a lot more difficult, from both a logistical and peace of mind viewpoint. Not only do you have to navigate feelings of guilt, you also have to create a support network around your parent, requiring trust and good communication.

In this article, we’ll discuss how to make sure your elderly parent is being looked after from afar, highlighting the resources available to you. We’ll also explore how you can control your feelings of guilt, ensuring peace of mind and preventing sleepless nights.

Technology tools for remote monitoring

Long-distance monitoring for the elderly is made much simpler with effective, remote monitoring tools. These will ensure a quick response if an incident were to happen, while giving you peace of mind from afar.

Panic button

A wearable device with a panic button will allow the elderly person to call for help if they can’t access the phone. This could be for incidents such as falls, sudden illness, perceived threats to their safety, and more. The panic button will connect to a 24/7 monitoring team, who can distribute help to your elderly parent within moments.

Fall detection systems

Similar to panic buttons, fall detection systems are wearable devices that provide contact between the elderly person and a 24/7 monitoring system. Instead of requiring the person to press a button, the device will automatically call for help if it detects they have fallen over.

GPS tracking

This is especially important if your elderly parent suffers from dementia or Alzheimer’s. Wandering is a common problem associated with both issues and can put your parent in serious danger. Not only will the GPS system allow monitors to track movements, but you can also set up safe zones. If your elderly parent moves outside of these zones, an automatic alert will be sent to the monitoring system.

Video calls

By scheduling frequent video calls with your elderly parent, you’ll be able to keep an eye on their physical appearance from afar. You’ll be able to spot whether they’ve lost weight or have any signs of physical harm from falls or banging into things. The largest stumbling block with this type of technology is that the elderly person may find it difficult to use.

Coordinating local support services

Support services differ from state to state, and even town to town, depending on the remoteness of the area. It’s vital that you coordinate all the local support services that your parent requires, from meal delivery to medical care, and social help to prevent loneliness.

Area Agencies on Aging (AAA) are useful, non-profit organizations to consult with, as they will be able to point you towards regional care resources for the elderly. There are over 600 AAAs across the United States, helping thousands of elderly people live independently.

You can also call on friends and family in the area where your parent is living for help with physical tasks and regular check ups.

Signs something is wrong from afar

When something isn’t quite right with your elderly parent, there are plenty of signs you can spot, even if you’re on the other side of the country. These are often behavioral and can be spotted over the phone or via video calls.

Confusion or worsened memory

If your elderly parent shows signs of frequent confusion during phone calls, extra home support may be needed. This can come in the form of getting lost during conversations or not understanding simple questions. Memory loss is also a symptom of cognitive decline and dementia, and can be spotted if they often repeat questions or stories.

Irritability

Sudden shifts into irritability from a state of cheeriness or calmness can represent feelings of pent-up frustration. It can also signal stress or cognitive decline. It may be a sign that the person is struggling with independent living and requires more day-to-day support.

Ignoring phone calls

A complete withdrawal from social interactions isn’t a good sign. If your elderly parent is no longer answering phone calls or doesn’t want to talk when they do answer, it is a sign of underlying problems, such as depression or stress.

Altered sleep patterns

If your parent mentions an altered sleep pattern or that they are sleeping more or less than usual, it could be a sign of various physical or mental health issues. This could be a result of an adverse reaction to medication, malnutrition, or general cognitive decline.

Building a local care team

Building a local care team for an elderly parent requires multiple steps, including having a conversation with your parent about their specific needs.

Assessing needs

First, determine the care needs of your parent.

• Establish their medical requirements, physical difficulties, and social needs.

• Have an extended conversation with your parent, asking them about the parts of their life they’re struggling with.

• Don’t be afraid to consult their friends either, as elderly people aren’t always willing to accept or admit they are struggling with certain aspects of life.

Call on local family/friends

Before calling in potentially expensive professional help, ask around your parent’s local circle, whether that’s family or close friends, for help. This can cover menial tasks such as checking in on your parent every so often or helping them do their weekly grocery shop.

If your parent is suffering from an extreme condition such as dementia, you will likely require professional medical support.

Consult with professionals and local resources

Get in touch with your parent’s local doctor to establish the local care resources available to them. For medical issues, they may require a home-visiting care team. For social support, take a look at local community organisations, such as church groups or social clubs. Non-profit groups in the area may also be able to help.

A great place to start is the Area Agencies on Aging (AAA), which can direct you toward services like meal delivery, transport options, and home visits from carers.

Cover all bases

Once you have found people that you can delegate roles to, develop a weekly structure based around home and social visits. Make sure the main priorities, such as medical care and food are covered.

It also helps to stay in contact with the people that you have delegated roles to, so they can keep you updated if an incident were to happen.

Balancing guilt and practical limitations

Even if you have a solid care team in place, not being present for an elderly parent can provoke strong feelings of guilt. Addressing these feelings head on will help you understand that your worries come from a place of caring. It’s important not to bottle these feelings up, instead talking about them to those close to you.

It’s more useful instead to focus on the things you can do to help, rather than the things you can’t do, due to practical limitations. Building a reliable care team is a great place to start, as well as keeping in regular contact with your parent.

Of course, there are obvious limitations to what you can do from afar, but leveraging the technology available to you will somewhat close the physical gap. Video calls will allow face-to-face contact even if it is through a screen.

Ultimately, understanding what you can do for your parent is much more important than dwelling on what you can’t do.

Make sure your elderly parent is looked after with SureSafe

It’s not easy to care for a vulnerable elderly parent from afar, but with SureSafe remote monitoring devices, you can keep them safe from harm. Our monitoring devices come equipped with panic buttons, automatic fall detection, and GPS tracking to prevent physical harm.

If you have any questions about our products, contact us on 888 919 4472. You can also contact us using our live chat, or request a call back from one of our experts.